I Lied :/

Ok, so I know I said I was done blogging... but I need an outlet today... and this is my only place to do it.

I am soooooooo baby hungry... you have no idea :/ My lil Kensi is well...not a baby anymore... she's an adorable toddler... atleast that's what I'm saying because she is in way too much trouble to be a sweet innocent baby ha And I am just longing for another kiddo.

I am frustrated because it was so easy to get pregnant with her. Not that we have been trying REALLY hard, but it's not like we were trying not to get pregnant. And it just hasn't happened. I was so excited yesterday, because I was 3 days late and showing alot of signs as pregnancy and took a test and it big letters "NOT PREGNANT"... it broke my heart.... and today my monthly visitor dropped by. This is the first month we have really tried so I know it will take some time, but there is nothing worse than thinking you are and then really... you are not. I know Heavenly Father has my plan set out and maybe he knows better. But it's so frustrating when ya want something so bad, and you really have no control of it.

I've been in a really bummer mood today, and took out my frustrations on Bri which I really shouldn't do, and it was prob a lil bit of the fact I am having my girly time, but I think most of it is, I am truly sad.

Well, that's all-- now this is out there and I finally had a way of letting out my sadness and frustration and shedding a few tears along with it. Maybe next month will be the lucky month :D

Here's to hopin'